I had a dog that belonged in a doggy asylum, and a peter that was worn out from its interaction with my hand. When I got up in the morning, and looked at it, it lay there, limp and exhausted. If it could have whined, it would have."Don't look at me like that," it would say. "I'm doing more than my part. You're supposed to find me a nice, warm pussy to slide into, where there are no calluses, except maybe a nice sensitive G-spot, and I'll be all warm and comfy when I spurt." I'm trying!" I'd snarl at it."Well try harder!" it would yelp. "I'm tired of Mother Palm, and her five daughters!" Well, you're lucky to get to spit at all, you ungrateful wretch!" I'd shout back at it."And if you're going to keep abusing me like that," it would say, ignoring me, "at least get a softer tissue. I'm getting rug burns from the cheap stuff you wipe me with!"That's when I'd stuff the ungrateful little prick into my pants, where he could sulk ... and would ... all day long.I know, I know ... a sane man. And I left no opportunity to show my wits, knowledge and innocence (Mostly real). And then we were friends. Almost two weeks. She was gorgeous, wheatish not thin, not fat, 5’2 or 5’1, not sure, didn’t ask her, but deduced from the pics. I am, I don’t know, but okay, 5’10”, athletic on a bit thinner side.We were not a match in thoughts, almost always argued on every topic. Perhaps this intrigued us more to talk to each other. After 2 weeks, she stopped replying. And again, I was like, ok, that’s it. But, 3 days at about 11 am, she messaged, “What food do you like?”.I, being witty, replied, “Would like anything if it’s cooked by you :P”. “Haha, very funny…dying laughing. I was thinking of having a lunch…what do you say?”, she replied, killing my joke like a mosquito. I thought, bang on…we are meeting. I said, “Awesome, let us meet, and decide what to eat”. No reply. After 2 pm, she texts, ” I had lunch, what about you…”. I was like, ” I too had it. She pulled it on me this time. Then,.
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